The Game of Love

I was thinking a lot about sports today... because I like sports and I like thinking and I had a lot of time for both today. I decided love shouldn't be like golf--politely taking turns, quietly watching as everyone plays one at a time, etc. It's too considerate--it lacks passion and a sense of urgency. On the up side, golf requires a certain finesse and gentility which I believe is also required in the game of love, but it's not enough to convince me that golf should be the model.

This next part is making my eyes and fingers hurt as I type it because I'm about to admit that my beloved rugby is not the best model either. Rugby is the best sport in the world. Rugby is a huge part of my life. We owe American football to rugby (that should make anyone appreciate it). Rugby, however awesome, is less considerate than golf, obviously less gentle, and leaves you not just sore and a little banged up, but BATTERED and ABUSED. Rugby is constantly changing, not very merciful, interruptive (I think I just made up that word), and unrefined. Rugby is brutish and crude. Rugby is a loud required taste. I think rugby is beautiful, but I know it from the inside. I can see the grace in a tackle and the sound of grunts and cadences in a scrum give me goosebumps. But the wrong kind of love leaves often leaves us battered and broken beyond full recovery. Love shouldn't constantly feel like being hit by a 300 lb girl. (Trust me it hurts) Love shouldn't leave you constantly feeling concussed.

So, since rugby didn't fit for how love really should be, I turned to my second-favorite sport--basketball. Basketball has a good mix of both styles. Interruption and aggressive interaction is tolerated to a point (stealing the ball) but the pace can change as dribbling allows for hesitation as you wait for the perfect pass or let the clock run. Individuals perform by shooting the ball, but interaction is still required with passing, plays, zone defense, settting the screen, etc. Basketball requires finesse and grace--you have to knwo how to handle the ball, but it is synergistic and the pace keeps you on your toes. I feel like the game of love is a team sport. The game of love is exciting and requires you to put your whole self into it. You have to be in shape emotionally to play it well. Injuries are inevitable, but your chances of leaving the court on a stretcher are most likely less than your chances of being carried off the pitch. I haven't written everything I've thought about. I know it probably didn't make much sense to anyone else, but it's what's been on my mind most of the evening while I was folding jeans at work.

Maybe this will clarify a little. Golf is like people whispering to themselves or a very considerate conversation. Rugby is a full-fledged shouting match, a raging debate that constantly changes topic and involves very abrupt interruptions. Basketball feels more like a conversation--there is give and take, the pace changes, you make your point but pass the ball to someone else and listen, etc. and love feels like it should be a conversation.