Come What May, And Love It

http://tr.im/hxFYThis is one of my favorite talks and a good, old friend reminded me of it tonight. (Thanks Mark!) It's so hard. It's hard to love people you don't want to love....but I think it is even harder to love things that happen when you really, really wish they hadn't. It's easier to be sad and embarrassed when you trust someone and they hurt you--even if you have nothing to be embarrassed about. It's easier to bear the pain than to love the pain.

For years I've complained about how, for the life of me, I couldn't be like other people who could just shut down and take a break from relationships and flirting and people really. I didn't get how they could just stop, but I wished I could so I could be spared some heartache for a while. But the truth is, I'm just not one of those people. I try and try to build up giant walls and develop trust issues, but I can't. I wish I could. It seems like the easier way out so many times. When I sit down and think about it though, it's actually easier to keep opening up and keep going through this stuff over and over. It's sounds crazy, but I think it's a lot like what Elder Wirthlin says about learning to laugh.

It's actually easier to laugh at things--to love the situation that you are in--than it is to be upset and brooding and distraught. I'm not saying it's wrong to feel hurt, but to go on feeling hurt and to hate the experiences that come your way is not easy. Bearing a burden of negative feelings is not easy.

It's been my own personal experience that I get over things in my past by going on with my future. The memories (good and bad) that haunt me from the last relationship, job, or whatever slowly disappear as I open my heart to make new memories. I don't believe you are truly over someone or some experience until you have started the next.

It takes a lot of faith and trust in the Lord, in other people, and especially in yourself to let go of the heavy feelings, to take a step in the dark, and to try something new while the ghosts of your past are looming all around you. It takes so much to say "come what may." Tonight might not be the best time for laughing, but I know I'll laugh tomorrow. I know the tears I cried will be compensated. I know that faith and trust are things that need to be tested to grow and I love a challenge. So che sarà, sarà. I love it!